It's A Girl!
It wasn't the way I wanted to find out the gender. It was not what I had planned. Upon hanging up with the nurse, I immediately googled, "Monosomy X." I was horrified. I spent hours googling. My baby might have Turner Syndrome. This is a condition only found in females... so there it was... this baby growing inside me is a girl. Not the way I ever imagined finding out. It was crushing to find out this way... took a lot of joy away from this pregnancy at that moment.
Upon research and consult with a genetic counselor, we know that if the baby does have Turner syndrome, there is a 1% chance of live birth and 99% chance of still birth or miscarriage. All I could do is cry. My baby might not make it to this Earth breathing. I cried on the phone to the nurse, the genetic testing company, and I cried during the meeting with the genetic counselor... because no matter what they tell me, they can't tell me if my baby has it or not. Every single professional I talked to said "Well you could do CVS or Amniocentesis, but there is always a small chance of miscarriage."
No thanks.
I would have been happy with a boy or girl. That never matters. I must admit that I wanted so badly for Brynne to have a sister at some point. It was a girl, a little sister for Brynne. While I should have been celebrating this beautiful experience I sat there in tears barely able to speak. I am still a wreck over it, but I have chosen to try my best to not think about it and let it be. I will admit, I spent one day in the ER because I was sure my baby was gone... Thank God it was just me being a total paranoid psycho.
As this baby continues to grow, I can't help but become attached to her. I think about her nursery, her name, how her and Brynne will argue over toys. It kills me that there is that slight chance I may never hold her, or that she will not make it to term. I know this uncertainty exists in all pregnancies, but I am already a complete crazy person without all this extra stress. So here we are... just waiting...
I will be doing a Level II ultrasound at 20weeks. This will not guarantee the baby does not have the syndrome, but it will look for any markers and perhaps provide us with a bit of comfort.
Upon research and consult with a genetic counselor, we know that if the baby does have Turner syndrome, there is a 1% chance of live birth and 99% chance of still birth or miscarriage. All I could do is cry. My baby might not make it to this Earth breathing. I cried on the phone to the nurse, the genetic testing company, and I cried during the meeting with the genetic counselor... because no matter what they tell me, they can't tell me if my baby has it or not. Every single professional I talked to said "Well you could do CVS or Amniocentesis, but there is always a small chance of miscarriage."
No thanks.
I would have been happy with a boy or girl. That never matters. I must admit that I wanted so badly for Brynne to have a sister at some point. It was a girl, a little sister for Brynne. While I should have been celebrating this beautiful experience I sat there in tears barely able to speak. I am still a wreck over it, but I have chosen to try my best to not think about it and let it be. I will admit, I spent one day in the ER because I was sure my baby was gone... Thank God it was just me being a total paranoid psycho.
As this baby continues to grow, I can't help but become attached to her. I think about her nursery, her name, how her and Brynne will argue over toys. It kills me that there is that slight chance I may never hold her, or that she will not make it to term. I know this uncertainty exists in all pregnancies, but I am already a complete crazy person without all this extra stress. So here we are... just waiting...
I will be doing a Level II ultrasound at 20weeks. This will not guarantee the baby does not have the syndrome, but it will look for any markers and perhaps provide us with a bit of comfort.
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